Karens Ben & Jerry Go Fully Nutty Fudge on RFK Jr.

In a scene straight out of a fever dream churned from the depths of a Ben & Jerry’s pint, co-founder Ben Cohen decided to swap his ice cream scooper for a megaphone of madness at a Senate hearing today. The target? None other than Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who was calmly fielding questions about his department’s budget when Cohen and a gaggle of rabble-rousers unleashed their inner Karens, screaming about Gaza and Medicaid like they were auditioning for a dystopian remake of Willy Wonka.

Ben & Jerry’s Co-Founder Goes Full Nutty Fudge, Disrupts RFK Jr. Hearing in Unhinged Meltdown

This wasn’t just a protest; it was a full-on tantrum, with Cohen leading the charge like a cherry Garcia-fueled berserker. “Congress sends bombs that kill kids in Gaza!” he bellowed, accusing lawmakers of slashing Medicaid to fund overseas wars—claims as half-baked as Ben & Jerry’s latest woke flavor flop. Capitol Police weren’t having it, swiftly dragging Cohen and his cohorts out like yesterday’s melted Chunky Monkey. The man who once peddled peace, love, and Phish Food was left handcuffed and red-faced, proving that even ice cream moguls can churn out more chaos than cream.

Let’s not kid ourselves—Ben & Jerry’s has been less about frozen treats and more about frozen takes for years. This is the company that slaps sanctimonious slogans on pints, preaching about “stolen indigenous land” and BLM while conveniently ignoring their own parent company Unilever’s less-than-squeaky-clean global footprint. Cohen’s stunt wasn’t about principle; it was a publicity grab, a desperate attempt to keep their overpriced, virtue-signaling dessert relevant in a world that’s tired of their schtick. Newsflash, Ben: screaming at a hearing doesn’t make your ice cream taste less like corporate hypocrisy.

RFK Jr., for his part, kept his cool, a beacon of reason amid the circus. Here’s a guy trying to tackle real issues—chronic disease, health policy, maybe even the mystery of why anyone pays $8 for a pint of “Save Our Swirled.” Yet, instead of engaging in actual debate, Cohen and his crew opted for the intellectual equivalent of throwing sprinkles at a hurricane. It’s pathetic, really—Ben & Jerry’s used to be about fun flavors, not flavorless activism. Now, they’re just the poster child for rich liberals who think yelling is a personality trait.

So, next time you’re craving a sweet escape, skip the Ben & Jerry’s aisle. Their ice cream’s as overrated as their morals, and Cohen’s antics prove they’re more about stirring pots than churning treats. Grab a Häagen-Dazs and let these clowns melt under their own hot air.